I miss my boyfriend already:(

Urgh, Its only been what like 5 hours since he left & I'm already missing him.
I wanted to get him outtah my mind, so i decided to go pool with braddah dem, but I couldn't stop thinkin about him, thats all i could do. I didn't have much fun swimming cause he was all on my mind. I can't believe he will be gone for a whole month. For me thats fucken long ass fuck.
Yesterday I didn't go school cause i wanted to give him my last goodbyes before he leaves for Philippines but it wasn't enough. Last night all i could think about was him leaving, & all my eyes could do was tear up. I mean, yeah we fight and yeah we hate each other most of our daymn times, but when its times like this. I know that i love him because look at me! im crying and missing him so much. with other guys i wasnt like this & i would get over it like that, but i cant with chris. I just love him so much & i know he's the one ill end up marrying, if i dont i know ill think about it everyday of my life, i would think what would have happened if i did marry him? I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Other people dont understand how our relationship is, like they think that he isn't good and i can do much better. but I dont care, Ill tell you off. & i know i did already. thats because they dont know the whole story. & i do love him. I love him so fucken much that i wouldnt marry anybody else if i were to loose him. Once I marry him, Ill promise him that I will never leave him and that he'll always be the one and only one. I know i can promise him that, and i know he can promise me the same. See this is why i love chris so much, is because i can trust him with girls i know he wouldnt do anything to me. He is naturally like that, he wouldnt go near a girl and no matter how i look he still loves me for me. He doesnt give a fuck, and he doesnt force me to do shit i dont wanna, like my other ex boyfriends. He never ever like forced me to do it, & it was always up to me if i wanted too. If i was with some other dude, they prolly all wanted was to fuck, yenno how guys r now days?! but chris isnt like that. He never did lie to me, never did cheat on me, hes always honest and caring for me. All those things are things that makes me love him & people dont understand how he really is. In the begginging of our relationship was the worst. we fought everyday and for hours. I would cry and cry. but we worked it out, and he isnt like that no more cause he realized that he'll lose me for treating me like that. The reason why we fight most of the daymn time is cause of my selfish ass. he does whatever i want him to, and like everything. He doesnt care for himself, all he wants is for me to be happy & thats the most important thing that i love about himmm. & this is why i fucken miss him so daym much already. I wont be able to talk to him, see him, nothingg. sucks! then when he gets back, hopefully it doesnt go by fast cause its only less than a month left til school starts again. ahhhh! & probably next summmer i might go philippines, then its the same daymn cycle again! anyways i hope he can try call me with someones phone. urgh, i cant go through a whole month without atleast talking to him once, atleast ONCE. mayn i miss him already! maybe i need more than once, haha.

okay adios